liezlsteenkamp's posterous

With everything that has been said and done between a group of concerned parents, CTMI, Grace Gospel Church, Miki Hardy, Basil O’Connell-Jones, and even myself, I’ve come to realize what my victory truly is. To see souls being saved… To see lives transformed… To see the gospel going forth… To live every day with a pure heart… Holding no resentment or unforgiveness… Being able to humble myself and repent… That is my victory!! It’s not about proving what’s right or wrong… It’s not about having the best evidence to prove others guilty… It’s not about fighting my own battle until it’s been won… It’s not about getting as many people as possible to agree with what I’m doing… My victory doesn’t lie in these things. I’ve seen how easy it is for me to want to rise up, defend myself and prove my point, but I’ve realized that it’s not about that. The Lord hasn’t called me to defend myself but to defend the gospel of Jesus Christ and Him crucified! I’m not called to stand up for a group or organization but for the message of the cross that I know has turned my life upside down! The Lord says clearly that the battle is His; that He will fight for us. So what have we got to do? Something so simple, that can be really difficult at times. Rely on the grace of God so that we can allow Him to have His way in our lives, whatever the cost may be.

There have been many people who have seen and witnessed the way my life has changed, and commented on the fact that it's "too radical", "not neccessary" and "too extreme". But in my walk with the Lord I have come to find that there is actually no such thing as a "too radical Christian lifestyle". If Jesus has truly saved us from a life of sin, destruction, "law" and religion, the least that we can do is offer our entire lives to Him. If we could comprehend the fullness of what Jesus did on the cross for us, while we were still sinners, we will soon realise that nothing that the Lord is requiring from our lives is too much or too radical. The problem that I have found is that there are so many Chrisitans living compromised, lukewarm lives that it has started to become acceptable in the church. This was something that I experienced in my own life. I saw the way that Christians around me were living with a foot in the world and a foot in the chruch and thought that it was acceptable. Soon that became my lifestyle because I wasn't hearing a message that confronted the way I was living, and I had no examples in my life to help me come out of a life of compromise.

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With everything that has been said over the past few months about my life, CTMI, Miki Hardy and Basil O'Connell-Jones, I have been amazed to see how the Lord has always brought me back to the state of my own heart.  In the beginning stages of the concerned parents group, when all sorts of lies and false accusations were emailed to people all over the world, about me, my husband and people who I love dearly, I really struggled to love and forgive. Even though I knew that I needed too, that I needed to carry the heart that Jesus had for his persecutors, it just felt impossible! I needed the Lord's intervention, I needed a miracle... I realised that I needed to examine my own heart to see where I truly stood. If I had anything in my heart against anyone, unforgiveness or bitterness, I needed to repent. Right there and then, I was set free completely! I can say with ALL honesty that I hold nothing against anyone in the concerned parents group, but most importantly, my parents. I truly love them with ALL my heart. And I want you to know that that is the greatest miracle! To sit with both my parents, and to be able to say to them that I hold nothing against them for what they have said and done, and truly mean it. That I love them more than I ever have before, it is a miracle of God! It is impossible to try and manufacture that in your own strength. It is only the gospel of the cross of Jesus Christ that can show us our state and bring us to our knees. It is the grace of God! We are called to walk with pure hearts, and what a privilege to be hearing a message that shows us how too. Even though it's not always easy, it's the road that we as Christians are called to walk.

More false accusations have risen up concerning my marriage, which I would like to address and bring some clarity one. I don't know when it will stop, but as long as it continues I will share the truth.

It has been said that Keegan and I disrespected, dishonoured and rebelled against my parents will, in getting married. I would like to state that this is completely false. Firstly, both my parents signed our civil marriage papers, giving their consent for us to get married, without ANYONE forcing them too. Secondly, we both flew back to Durban in March this year, and had a time to meet and speak with my parents. The meeting went really well as we were all able to express ourselves. My parents shared their concerns and hurts with us, and Keegan and I truly repented if we had gone about things in the wrong way, concerning our engagement, and asked their forgiveness. We were also able to share the vision that was in our hearts concerning our marriage, and that was for the Lord to be glorified in our lives and for us to enter into what we feel God had planned for us. That we love each other dearly, and was NEVER forced or manipulated into taking this step by Miki Hardy, Basil O'Connell-Jones or any of the CTMI leaders. They said that they accept our apology, and that they welcome Keegan into the family with open arms. It was a really good time. Therefore, I can't understand why this issue is even still coming up. For me it’s clear that if someone repents and the other person forgives, it's over. The slate is wiped clean. Imagine if Jesus always reminded us about what we did or said after we have repented, He has forgiven us, and now tried to use it against us…

Many of you may have heard of, or even received e-mails from a group of people called the 'Concerned Parents' group. There have been a few false allegations made about me by this group, some of which I have already spoke about on my blog. My aim is not to attack, criticise or convince anyone but I feel that it's good if my side of the story is also heard. My parents were part of CTMI and Grace Gospel Church but now form part of this 'Concerned Parents' group. They have struggled to accept decisions which I have made concerning my future, blaming Miki Hardy, Basil O'Connell-Jones and the CTMI leaders for brainwashing and manipulating me into making these decisions. Despite trying to explain to them that every decision that I have made has been in total freedom and from a personal concivtion between me and the Lord, they still choose to put the blame on the CTMI leaders. They can't see the absolute joy and peace I have finally found in serving Jesus! However, despite everything that is flying around and being said, I love my parents dearly. I shudder to think how twisted and full of resentment my heart could have been towards them if it was not for the gospel that is changing my life. I have faith that as God did a miracle by giving me a true love and respect for them that He will do a miracle to restore our relationship one day.

Before coming in contact with CTMI and Grace Gospel Church my ambition was to further my studies in the field of medicine. As a result of my life being transformed by the message the church preaches, it then so happened that my desire to study changed. I rather desired to give myself fully to the Lord’s service for a time, not ever closing the door on my studies. My parents however have struggled to accept my decision, in that they believe that I am being irresponsible, and have totally written off studying. Despite numerous attempts to appease their worries that I have not been influenced or coerced in any way to abandon my studies, nor as the Concerned Parents group says ‘brainwashed’, they still find it difficult to accept and acknowledge my decision. But at the end of the day I have a decision to make between follow what my parents want for my life or what God has already predestined for my life. The Lord has planned the direction my life will take since before time, all I have to do is walk in it. It’s not radical, super-spiritual or strange. I’m simply sincerely following what I feel the direction of the Lord is for my life. It might not be like every other normal 20 year old but if we truly want our lives to be confirmed to Jesus they can’t be normal. The church is a body; every member has its own role and function. Therefore we can’t expect everyone’s lives to be the same. We need to answer to the call of God that is upon our lives, no matter how big or small, and no matter where it may lead us. And in my heart I am ready to respond to that call and challenge of becoming more like Jesus every day.

There have been many false accusations made by a group of people called the ‘concerned parents group’, of the fact that I am in an arranged marriage to a guy I hardly know. I would like to state clearly that this is not true. I recently, at the end of August, married a wonderful young man, Keegan O’Connell-Jones, that I’ve known for 3 years, also from Durban. We were never forced or manipulated into getting married by the CTMI leaders, Miki Hardy, Basil O’Connell-Jones or anyone in the church for that matter, but decided of our own accord to get married after being engaged for 9 months because we truly love each other.

In 2007 my life was turned upside down when I attended a CTMI youth meeting with pastor Basil O'Connell-Jones. Before the meeting even started I was blown away by the simplicity of the youth and the fire in their hearts for the Lord. I'd been a Christian for many years, been to many churches, and even more youth groups, but I had never been more confronted to see young people, who had only been saved for a few months, giving up things of the world that I was still struggling to let go of. I felt something special. Len Boy, a pastor from the CTMI church in Mauritius, shared from the book of Acts about the life which we have to live as Christians, and compared it to that of the early church. It felt as though scales were falling off my eyes and I finally started to see a small glimpse of what we as Chrsitians are truly called to live. For the first time I saw the true state of my heart. I was lukewarm and living a life full of compromise. I realised that something had to change and it was the start of the Lord taking hold of my heart and of my life..